Which Direction Should We Go?

This is a really simple statement, so forgive me for a moment: Why don't people use their turn signals?

I mean, I thought it was a Mississippi thing until I lived in other states. Hardly anybody seems to know what that little lever next to the steering wheel does. I see people just barrel out into traffic without giving anybody the slightest idea where they're going. I've heard horns, I've seen near-accidents many times, all because some idiot doesn't want to waste his or her time flicking a wrist. It drives me CRAZY. Sure, if you're in a turn lane, maybe. But even if you're in a turn lane, do the people coming the other way really know it's a turn lane? I thought when you got a driver's license you were informed that the turn signal is NOT optional. Yet I've never seen anybody pulled over for not using one.

I think it speaks to a larger issue. We as a culture just don't really care about the people around us anymore. Being polite and friendly has been archaic for a long time. It's just polite to use a turn signal, to communicate with the other people on the road. But we're in such a hurry and so busy and so unconcerned (it will be somebody else's fault if we have a wreck) we have stopped doing a lot of very basic things that are simply good manners. And that has filtered down into our rhetoric and our "dialogue." I put it in quotes because there is no "dialogue" in this country; it's all angry, mostly uninformed people spouting off their opinions whether they actually know anything to support those opinions or not. We live the way we drive – rudely, angrily, and without any concern for the people we share the world with. And that's just sad.

Beware Online Workshops

There are a lot of opportunities for writers to share their work online; it's very, very careful to research these opportunities before you commit to them. I've been in a few online workshops, and I just don't really have time to produce that much work or spend that much time reading critiques. But always be aware that there are agendas working. In a classroom, everybody usually has the same agenda – they're there to learn and become better writers. There's a teacher there who, ideally, is going to guide the feedback and make sure everybody is sticking with the work and being constructive. In-person writing workshops with mediators can sometimes be useful, too, but even they can fall pretty to those who want to do more than write and get feedback to improve themselves.

I was on one particular workshop site for a while (I won't mention the name, but I think it's still going) that really gave me problems. I signed up, submitted work, and got accepted. When I posted my profile, I mentioned that I have a PhD in English, which of course I would do because I do have one. It's no big deal to me. But gradually the criticism of my work get nastier and nastier and nastier, with comments like, "I would think a PhD would write better than this." They never really critiqued my work; they were critiquing me for actually studying poetry, which I would think would be a good thing to do if you're going to write it. They were writing pastiches of Ginsberg and Bukowski, and sonnets and stuff like that, and I was always as helpful as possible to help them get where they wanted to go. They weren't bad writers, they just stayed within their own comfortable confines of what reading they had done. Because I essentially knew a lot more than they did, they resented me. And this was a big deal workshop where you had to submit work and be approved; they painted themselves as a really high-class operation.

But they treated me like an alien, an other, because I had lived a different life than they had. And this was maybe ten years ago, maybe even longer than that. But you don't forget being treated like you don't matter. And if you're going to critique somebody else's work, don't get personal. Focus on the language and the structure and the intent, not on the person writing it. It's extremely immature, and more importantly, it's not helpful. I spent years giving positive feedback to people I positively couldn't stand, and negative feedback to people I was really close to, because of the quality of the work. Once during grad school when I was going through a bad breakup, my friends got together and said, "You know, Jeff, your work is really sucking right now. It's depressing and it's self-indulgent, and you're writing like a 13 year old girl." They were right; I was. I eventually snapped out of it and started really working again instead of weeping. Sometimes that's what it takes.

And if you get negative, personally-based feedback, ignore it. It means nothing.

A Real Downer

I'm about to begin a one-man battle against negativity. Our culture has become increasingly negative and sour – people know more about what they're against than what they're for, and authority figures jockey for position by telling us what's wrong with us, or with other people. So I've decided to stop watching the news (on ANY network) and listening to talk radio, and I'm going to keep my internet newsgathering at a minimum. Does it matter what's going on in the world when it's all so bad? I'm one of those people who's affected by negativity; it makes me negative in turn, and sad, and a little depressed. I don't need that. My life is great right now. But every time I am influenced by the negativity that we're bombarded with every day, I forget that. I get wrapped up in all the "US vs THEM" and unfair competition and one uninformed opinion after another. The rule is, if we say it enough times, whether it's true or not, it becomes the inarguable truth. Nobody discusses things anymore; we talk at each other and we're convinced that we are absolutely right, even if we have no idea what we're talking about.

Let me get political for a minute. I hear no end of people jabbering on about how to "fix" education. These are people who have never been at the front of a classroom, who have never been in a faculty meeting, who have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. Quite often, they're barely educated themselves, as evidenced by the way they speak and/or type. They don't know what it takes to educate a child (or an adult, for that matter). They don't know how hard it is. They don't know that a classroom can become a metaphorical combat zone, and that a good teacher has to fight. And they don't care; they just know their way is the right way even though their way is totally unrealistic, unworkable or impossible. They don't know simple things like the vast majority of the money "thrown at" education goes to pay salaries. If you want smaller classrooms (which everybody who knows agrees is a very good solution), you have to hire more teachers. It's very simple math – even I could do it. But they don't know, and no matter how many times they're told, they don't care. But that's not my point; my point is that these people create a negative atmosphere that leads others to believe the same stupid things they believe. And that atmosphere drags education down further, because the realistic solutions aren't heard. They don't want to hear the truth. Most of us don't want to hear the truth, about most things anymore. We treat actual experts like the enemy in the name of free speech. However, free speech isn't free; you have to work for it. You have to listen as well as speak to make it work.

I want out of all that. They won't listen to an educator because of my degrees or my politics (whatever they may be) or my experience. Why should I participate in a "debate" in which my voice is not heard? I don't need the stress. I don't need the negativity.

I listen to the radio (and I'm not just talking about radio, but this example fits) three times during the day: One the way to work, back and from lunch, and on the way home. In those first two instances today, I heard FOUR car insurance commercials that did nothing but insult their competition's methods and ads and effectiveness. "And oh, yes, we'll do this…bye!" Are they not good enough companies that they can just tell us what they offer and let the consumer decide? Yes, it's good to examine the competition's prices, but does that have to escalate into name calling and nastiness? Have we lost all sense of civility and fair play? Am I being naïve? It doesn't really matter if I'm naïve or not, because I don't want to hear it. I don't like where we're going, and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse. I want to be happy and content and professional and make my own contributions to the world without insulting anybody else. And I'd like to be treated the same way. Remember "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" A lot of people don't, and some of them quote a lot of other verses as they're slandering people with different opinions and ideas. And this isn't really new – it's been getting steadily worse for at least 20 years. I'm not one of those people who moan about "the good old days," but there really was a time (I think) when people minded their own business and kept their mouth shut and didn't feel a need to feel superior to everybody else.

It's not a left or right thing; there are people from both extremes who are doing this. And as somebody who doesn't fall into either of those camps, I feel no need to make them happy by letting them get me down.

I think we all need more happiness in our lives, and to do what we can do to make our own and other people's lives better, not worse.

First Night

I'm very, very nervous about tonight's first night at Holmes. I always get nervous; throughout my 20 something years teaching, I have always been nervous the first night. Imagine standing in front of 30 strangers you've never seen before trying to convince them that you know what you're talking about, especially if you've just spent a couple of months off. You don't know exactly what's going to happen (even though planning is always done), you don't know how everybody's going to react, you don't know whether to be serious or funny or goofy (which is my chosen method). Put the students at ease; make them wonder what you're going to do next. Plan things so there's a good flow of information, and good movement that's going to be interesting and fun. Everybody likes shiny things.

It's all about high expectations. I care A LOT about making a good first impression; we all do (well, most of us do. I've known people who didn't care, and I never quite understood that). Teaching is its own kind of specialized performance art, and everybody reacts differently. But I'm prepared; I know what I'm going to say, I know what we're going to do (although I'll be very nervous and probably make it look like work), and I'm confident that my students will be put in a good place that will enable them to learn, write, keep learning and keep writing. And before you know it it will all be over and I'll be staring at another sea of strange faces. With a lot of grading in between.

Wow

I finally saw KICK-ASS. I bought it last week when it came out, but didn't have time to watch it until now. Those of you who know me know I'm not prone to exaggeration, but it may be the best piece of action cinema I've ever seen in my life. Period. It may be the perfect film - it has deep character development, great stunts and effects, beautiful cinematography, and an edge like nothing you've ever seen. Yes, it's INCREDIBLY violent (which I don't usually like) and it's INCREDIBLY profane (there's a 10 year old girl who cusses like a sailor), but it has a depth and a reach that are unparalleled by anything I've seen in years. It's definitely not politically correct, and if you only watch Disney films you want to stay FAR away from it. But I'd suggest that you don't. It actually made me cry numerous times, and action movies aren't supposed to do that, and I don't cry at the drop of a hat. It's a truly beautiful film, and the fact that it wasn't a gigantic hit only underscores the fact that Hollywood is so careful and so homogenized. Just when you think the film is going to go one direction, it shifts gears on you and does something you don't expect. Are the good guys really good, or is that relative? Is it noble to kill the bad guys? We do it in war every day and explain it away; can superheroes do it? It sounds silly to say so, but this film made me want to be a superhero, just like KICK-ASS. It inspired me. It amazed me. It takes the whole superhero genre (which I happen to like) and turns it upside down. It's funny and wild and crazy and a little sentimental. It's a literal thrill ride, and all the performances are outstanding. They go WAY over the top, and they own it. I never read the comics, but now I want to. It's just simply amazing, and I may post a more intelligent review down the road. For right now, though, as the credits roll, I feel absolutely exhilarated. Action films never do that for me; they always leave me cold because they're more about explosions than people. This film is about flawed people who want to make a difference, or avenge wrongs. I truly feel transformed from watching this film, and again, I don't exaggerate very often. If you want to see a film that pulls out all the stops and "goes there," see it. It's amazing.