A Few Questions

I was on online dating sites for 8 years; I still have accounts, and I check them occasionally, but I have somebody in my life, so it's just sort of a morbid hobby. I looked around on one of those sites today out of sheer boredom, and I looked at some profiles. I have a few questions.

With about 2 exceptions, all the women on these sites LOVE the outdoors. Really? Does everybody but me love the outdoors, with the mud and the bugs and the sweat and the hassle? Why would you go outdoors when you have a perfectly good air conditioner and TV at home? I used to fish when I was a kid, because that's what my family did when we went to the coast over the summer. OK, I've fished. You sit for 6 hours in the heat and stick a piece of string in the water, and usually nothing happens. It's like watching televised golf - what is really the point?

And they all say, "I'm not the average woman; I LOVE sports." Are you serious? If one or two of them said it I might believe it, but they ALL say it. I understand the mom who goes to her kids' games, because you're obligated to do that, but do they really sit around with a beer and yell at the TV? And so many have to include, "Go this" or "go that" to prove that they're loyal to multi-millionaires who couldn't care less if they live or die and date gorgeous (but vapid and meaningless) reality stars. Kim Kardashian could have her own team by now. I am not a sports person; I tried almost everything when I was growing up, and I failed at all of it. I didn't understand it, I didn't get why it was entertaining, and I still don't. That's just me, but does that make me a "traditional woman?" Maybe I should put that in my profile, if I ever wrote a new one.

And then there's "I don't want to play games." No, honey, you don't want to play MY games. You want to play yours, and you want me to enjoy it because I'm lucky enough to be with you. "I don't want to play games" means, "I won't have sex with you until you spend enough money on me over a long, drawn out period of time." That is a game in itself; in fact, dating is a game. That's all it is.

No, I'm not bitter, just trying to be funny. But it's amazing how people will say what they think other people want to hear. The clichés are deafening, and I wonder if there's a guide online somewhere that says, "Put this in your profile. Everybody's doing it!" The women I met online were the ones whose profiles were fresh and interesting and who didn't want me to go to seminary.

It's really funny that women who say they're "old fashioned" watch football, go hunting, and make so many demands. Old fashioned women were women who didn't do any of those things

And don't get me started on grammar and spelling. J