Aging?

Maybe it's a function of getting older, but I've noticed something interesting over the past year or so. I used to read Modern Drummer magazine from cover to cover (I've even published a few articles with them), and when I turned on the E! channel I knew every celebrity on there. I thought my cultural I.Q. was pretty good, even very good.

But lately I pick up a Modern Drummer and think, "Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?" These are guys from bands I've never heard of, who I guess are good and all, but they're not what I choose to listen to. I listen to music that's quite off the beaten path these days, so I'm not up on who's drumming for Pink (who I have heard of, of course; I just don't care). And when I turn on E!, it's a bunch of reality "stars" from shows I never watch who mean nothing to me. Whatever happened to actual celebrities who do something? Yes, I know who Kim Kardashian is, and I respect that booty a great deal. But that booty would never give me a second glance, so who really cares? She's famous for being famous, and that's just ridiculous. Remember when it was only Paris Hilton, and everybody made fun of her? I do. I guess those were the good old days.

And Lady Gaga. WTF? Really? Let's all be Madonna, but INCREDIBLY WEIRD. Same gay following, same provocative videos, same lame, formulaic music. I guess she'll be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, too, and Rush still won't get in. But Rush don't want or need the Hall of Fame, according to them. And so they don't. But I can still complain. Just remember the Peter Gabriel Genesis didn't get into the Hall; it was only the poppy Phil Collins version. That's why Peter didn't show up; he knew. Phil and the boys were gracious, but they knew, too. And anybody who knows anything will never forgive them for "Invisible Touch."

So my cultural I.Q. is sliding into the abyss. Who the HELL is Chad Ochocinco, and why should I care about who he dates? Is he some sort of sports figure? Do I care?

I feel like I'm gradually becoming an old man hoarding my outdated CDs and VHS tapes and crawling away from the world.